My girl is nearly 3 1/2 years old, and my boy, 16 months. NO ONE kids around when they say "boys will be boys". My boy is a rough & rumble kind of kid, who I tend to think also loves his mom very much-almost too much some days (and ALL nights!!).. He enjoys doing naughty things and feels greatly encouraged to continue by that little "n" word - "NO!". He is, quite simply, a BOY. My girl is very different-she's afraid to try new things, doesn't enjoy getting dirty (she could hardly stand to walk on our grass until just this past summer), and is COMPLETELY ANAL retentive about EVERYTHING. (this is partially her parents' fault, but I refuse to take the blame for all of it!). My boy hasn't really started talking yet (it's brewing, but still sounds like very adamant gibberish for the most part) . My girl, however; my girl can TALK! She wakes up in the morning, and the talk button is flipped on instantly. She talks and sings and talks and dances and sings and talks, talks, talks. It's probably my fault, as a stay-at-home mom I talk to my kids all day-who else do I talk to?? The best part is that I have learned to tune most of this nattering out. However, on above previously mentioned night of bathing, I happened to NOT tune out what she said to her little brother as he stole "her" toy (for the fifth time!!) in the bath.
"F*@# off (my boy's name)!"
It was said quite softly (for her voice anyway) and I could hardly believe I had heard her correctly. So I asked her to say it again. She looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes of hers, astonished that I wasn't angry at her. She knew. She knew it was a bad thing to say. She's 3 and a half and she knew. She repeated it, even more softly, and I had to tell her,
"You don't say that. That's an awful, horrible bad word and don't you ever say that again, ok?" "Ok, Mom, I won't ever again. I pinky-swear!" So we shook on it, and I haven't heard her repeat it again.
Now you're probably wondering why in the dickens didn't I get mad at her. I honestly don't care if words like "shit" are spoken-she has quite frankly used that one for a while now. "MOOOOMMMM!!!! (my boy's name) IS SHITTING HIS PANTS AGAIN!!!!" (to me that's not a swear-word and I will adamantly refuse to budge on my view)
The "F" word, however, should never come out of a little person's mouth, especially in context like that! It really shouldn't even be uttered by an adult. But here's the thing:
I'm a bush kid. A farm kid. And I have a "potty-mouth". I am not ashamed that I do, but I am more than a little ashamed that I have chosen to speak in such a way that my kids hear, know and understand swear words, at such an impressionable young age.
When my girl uttered that word, I was transported back in time to a spring morning when I was roughly 4 years old. My mom had just finished doing my sister's hair, and she was then braiding mine. I hated it. It felt like my mom pulled every little hair out of my head when she braided it so tightly. (She probably did pull a few out, on purpose, because I know when I braid my girl's hair and she starts whining, all I want to do is just pull one or two really stuck ones to give her something "real" to whine about...) And so it usually took quite a while to do my hair. My sister and I were apparently going outside to play after our hair was brushed and braided. However, my sister decided she wasn't going to wait for me, and proceeded to open the front door. I don't remember exactly if my mom told her to wait, or if she told her to just get out of the house, but I DO remember realizing I was going to be left behind (AGAIN!!) and screaming from the bathroom, "Wait for meeeeee you little B!@#%!" (insert word for female dog).
My mom promptly dragged my four year old self back into the bathroom and washed my mouth out with a bar of blue, Zest soap. (By the way, she didn't get any in my mouth, as if I was opening it for THAT!!!) I may have received a slap on the butt with the fly-swatter as well, but I don't remember that. The swearing/soap-eating attempt took precedence in my young memory.
I don't believe I ever uttered a swear word at any of my siblings after that. (at least not in front of my parents) But to be fair, you can't really blame ME! I was four, and I quite obviously heard that word from SOMEONE else. I'm about 99% certain it was uttered by my dad. I spent a lot of time with my dad at that age. My sister was in school, and my younger brother was just a baby, so of course I was outside with my dad and my grandpa.
My dad has a problem containing his potty mouth too, ESPECIALLY when working with cattle. So does my grandpa. I don't think I could even tell you NOW some of the things uttered from their mouths in the barn yard. If you don't want to hear a constant stream of cuss-words, don't help them with cattle. I mean it. Or wear ear plugs. Wait, maybe don't do that-they might direct their cussing at you if you can't hear what they want you to do. Over the years, I have learned to just accept it. Cows bring out THE worst in my dad, and I will make sure to shield my little people's ears if they are nearby when a cow decides to turn back in the alley, or when she flicks her klinker-encrusted tail in my dad's face. There are just some words in this world that little people shouldn't be hearing and absorbing in their little sponge-like brains.
So I willingly take the blame for my girl's terrible, shameful word. But I won't wash her mouth out with soap (unless she tries it out again, of course), and I sure as heck am not going to put soap in mine. And I "pinky-swear" I will try my best to censor my potty mouth in the future.
Have a beautiful
(see??? I already censored myself!!!)
C
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